


Be My Friend (hold me, wrap me up)

by linatrinch



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Angst, BB-8 is a pottymouth, Fluff, Happy Ending, M/M, Mentions of homophobia, Miscommunication, Misunderstandings, Valentine's Day, finn is a selfless adult, mentions of abuse, poe is an insecure idiot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-15
Updated: 2017-02-15
Packaged: 2018-09-24 13:52:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,905
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9745514
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/linatrinch/pseuds/linatrinch
Summary: Poe's plan to confess his love to Finn on Valentine's Day goes wrong when Finn finds out that there's a surprise and assumes it's for someone else. And Finn is totally fine with that! Really! Though, he'd appreciate it if it didn't hurt so badly, but he could push it down for the sake of Poe's happiness. Meanwhile, Poe is a mess.Happy Valentine's Day, I think.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I decided to write something for Valentine's, but the idea immediately got away from me. Prepare yourselves for Poe Dameron being an idiot and Finn being amazing. Prepare!
> 
> It's angsty bullcrap with a happy ending, so there you go.

“Hey, Poe! I had a quick question.” Finn practically barreled into their shared quarters, basically unannounced. He really was trying to get better at the whole idea of physical space and things like knocking, and it was going great around other people, but Poe was always so open and welcome and happy. Finn respected him immensely and took great care to purposely _not_ take up all or even half of the Commander's free time, but he was just... so easy to talk to, so easy to go to, so easy to ask for anything Finn didn't understand. He sometimes just got too excited and forgot.

It was stupid. It was terrible of him. But it was true.

Finn berated himself for it when he realized he was clearly interrupting something, seeing Poe sitting with legs crossed on his bunk, a guitar in his arms, scribbled sheet music around him. That and the light color to Poe's cheeks, a clear indication that he didn't want to be disturbed. “Oh, I'm sorry. I'll-”

“No, no, no!” Poe waved at him from the bed, as if he could reach Finn before the other man sprinted out the door. And he still had such a big grin on his face. “You're all right, buddy. You just caught me in the zone is all. What's going on?”

Sometimes Poe was _too_ nice and helpful, but this was definitely Finn's fault. Still, he resolved to just ask and hopefully get out of Poe's beautiful hair that much quicker. “The, uh- The holiday thing coming up. Valentine's? I was wondering, is it _just_ for lovers to celebrate or-?”

Poe shifted, tugging the guitar closer to him. “Well, I mean... mostly? It usually is, but some people like to give things to their friends or family... It's pretty much for anyone that has love between them, no matter... y'know, what kind of love it might be.”

Perfect! “Great!” Finn smiled. “I really wanted to celebrate, too, but I didn't know if I was allowed to.” Well, _allowed_ wasn't a good word. _Socially acceptable_ is probably a better term.

“Course you're allowed to, buddy! You're always allowed to have fun,” Poe instantly and predictably protested.

Finn giggled, “Thanks, Poe,” and took a little glance around his side of the room to figure out what the pilot may need. A few of the Pathfinders were going on a shopping trip/recon mission soon, and he wanted to put his order in early. Poe and Rey were pretty much the only people on his list, but he still wanted to be prepared. “Sorry to bother you. I'll see you at dinner, yeah?”

“Uh, yeah- Finn, wait! I- uh-” Finn stopped backing out of the room and waited curiously. Poe's cheeks turned that familiar tint of color again, chewing his bottom lip, looking absolutely adorable. “I-... Can I get your advice on something?”

 _Finn's_ advice? Finn's best advice only came up in tactical briefings when asked about Stormtrooper patrol routes. He was fairly sure a guitar and sheet music had little to do with Stormtroopers. “Sure? Whatever I can do, I mean. Of course.”

Poe's smile was fleeting as he nervously glanced from Finn to the sheet music and back again. “I'm trying to put together this... _thing_... and I was just wondering, y'know, um-... Do you have a favorite song?”

Finn had been with the Resistance going on five months. He had heard _plenty_ of music once the pilots realized the First Order had a very censored media selection while he was growing up. So, it wasn't particularly an _odd_ question, so to say, but there was something... Especially since Poe was never actually _nervous_. Finn thought he'd never see the day. So that must mean- “Is this for Valentine's Day?”

“Um... Yeah.” Poe's face slowly got redder, his fingers itching up and down the neck of the guitar. “Yeah, it- it is. I'm trying to, um- I don't know. I was just wanting to- Well, I wanted to do something for- for someone and, um-”

As Poe babbled through an explanation, Finn quickly put the pieces together. As much as Jess teased him for not knowing what shoelaces and lemonade was, he wasn't an actual fool. Poe's plan was very... romantic. Very romantic. Finn blinked, realizing that Poe was trying to ask somebody out.

It was more or less a heartbreaking discovery but one Finn knew was coming someday. It would have hurt no matter how much he could have tried to prepare for this, because Poe was just... so _wonderful_. He wasn't perfect, no one was, but no one would ever come as close to it as Poe. Actually, all of his imperfections were perfect, too. Maybe he didn't walk away with Finn's heart on the _Finalizer_ or on Jakku or even on D'Qar's tarmac after Takodana, but he had stolen it at some point. Maybe during the physical therapy, maybe during the undercover ops, maybe just slowly piece by piece over time.

Either way, Finn had known that he loved the other man for a while now, and he knew that Poe returning those feelings had a very low percentage. There were _so_ many reasons. For one, the First Order was clear on their feelings for same sex relations. The Resistance and many other places in the galaxy Finn had seen so far wasn't like that, but many people obviously had their preferences and Poe probably didn't swing his way. Second, the age. Poe was so much older. Then again, maybe that didn't matter much either to the Resistance. And maybe the third reason, military rank, didn't either.

Still. Even so. Finn had to constantly remind himself that Poe did not and would not ever feel that way for him, a man who still felt new to actually being his own man. It was a much better idea than getting his hopes up. But Finn still loved him and he had the strange feeling that he may always love Poe Dameron. If someone had caught this man's interest – this beautiful, smart, strong, incredible man – then that person had to be amazing. All Finn really wanted was for Poe to be safe and happy.

So, in the span of a heartbeat, Finn felt his chest cave in as he worked hard to steel himself and smile. “Sounds romantic. You've got some big plans, huh?”

Poe's low cut shirt revealed how red his chest was turning, too, all the way to the top of his ears and forehead. He had it bad for this person, clearly. How had Finn not noticed this before? He must not know them. “I, uh- Yeah, I mean- _Kinda_ , buddy. I- I don't, um-”

“It's okay,” Finn laughed and hummed to himself, thinking back. He didn't really have to think hard, though. His answer was pretty easy. “You remember when I was on bed rest, right? You sang that song in Yavinese to all the patients. I don't know the words, it's probably inappropriate for what you're going for, but I _really_ like it. I liked it more than everything else I've heard, anyway.”

“Really?” Poe squeaked before clearing his throat. “Oh, really? I'm, uh- Okay. Yeah, okay. I can- That's a good- Okay. Um... Thanks.”

“You're welcome,” Finn chuckled again, trying not to let his hurt come through. “I hope it works out, Poe. See you at dinner.”

“Thanks, buddy...”

Finn waved and allowed the door to slide closed behind him, finally cutting him away from the situation. He started back down the hall, taking a deep breath and trying to turn his mind to the task before him. This new development didn't change anything. He still had Poe's friendship and he still greatly loved the other man, so a gift still needed to be purchased. It didn't change anything.

It wouldn't change anything.

* * *

“You do know what day it is, right?” Karé asked, walking from fresher to closet and back again as she got ready for her apparent date with Snap. “Why are you still in here? Don't you have a First Order turncoat to serenade?”

Poe, who had been putting off his big surprise all day, had successfully driven himself into such a slump that he hardly wanted to move anymore. “I can't, Karé,” he moaned from her loveseat. “He's so-... I can't do it.”

Iolo, who was sitting back on Karé's bed, heaved a big sigh. He had apparently been in there as a kidnapped victim, forced to model various outfits so Karé could pick something accurate for her date. It wasn't entirely ideal, but that was the running thing they've had for years. The grumbling ceased to be new since the Republic days. But now the guy was free as Karé bustled around the room, so he was laying back and reading a datapad, having no date to get dressed for. Iolo had always seemed to prefer it that way. Poe clearly never did. “Boss, you've taken on Star Destroyers without assistance. Surely you can do this, too.”

“This is different,” Poe whined. “He was all like- No. No, I- I can't do it. I just can't do it.”

Karé groaned from inside of the fresher. “Stop teasing us already, Dameron. What happened?”

Now this was something that Poe definitely didn't want to talk about, yet it definitely needed to be put out in the open if he was ever going to live another day. “Finn found out.”

The unmistakable sound of makeup clanking into the sink was followed by his fellow pilots' shared gasps. Seriously, sometimes they were true gossip mongers. “No!” Karé poked her head out of the adjacent room. “He found out you were going to sing to him? How?”

“No, he-” Poe paused as Iolo sat up, realizing he had their undivided attention, and he kind of wanted to die a little inside. “He found out I was putting something together for _someone_ and he- Well, he- He wished me luck.”

“Oh,” Iolo breathed.

Poe slumped deeper into his seat. “He said that he hopes it works out...”

“Ah, Poe...” Karé walked out of the fresher, chewing on her freshly painted lips, brows furrowing in sympathy. “I mean, you could still try, though. The way that kid _looks_ at you, you could still pull it off.”

Poe shook his head, closed his eyes, tried to push down all of the hope he'd ever had for something actually happening between them. “I can't.” It was gone, ruined, falling right through his fingers. Maybe he could have if he'd done it earlier, if he'd done things differently. It was clear since Takodana – hell, probably since the TIE Fighter – that Finn was _it_ for him. So much for that pipe dream.

Then Iolo asked, “You wanna get drunk instead?” and Poe perked up.

* * *

Poe had thankfully gotten blissfully drunk. He had waxed poetically after Karé had left about all the reasons his chances with Finn were shot to hell and how he was never going to find happiness like that again and how he was going to be miserable inside forever and then he cried for a while. But he'd eventually reached that certain level of drunk with that certain sort of liquor (whiskey) where he was just... content and happy and even had a smile on.

Iolo was _such_ a good friend.

They'd talked for awhile, and now Poe knew that the world wasn't coming to an end. Finn was still his friend who had a fierce sense of companionship and loyalty. It wasn't everything Poe dreamed of, but some affection was better than nothing. They were practically best friends, held together by a bond that wouldn't be broken any time soon. And they were both alive and relatively happy and not in mortal danger or injured or prisoners- They were okay. And happy. And it was good. It was fine. It was great! It was great.

He keyed in their code and walked into the quarters he shared with Finn, noticing half a second too late that the other man was actually there. It was practically the middle of the night on _Valentine's Day_ no less, and Finn was sitting alone in their quarters? That wasn't right. But... gosh, he could have been waiting for Poe. And the pilot smiled, just _so_ happy to see him, watching Finn stand up- Ha! _Standing!_ The doctors had debated whether or not Finn would ever walk again, and here he was! Defying everything. Absolutely incredible.

“You're back?” Before Poe could reply with something along the lines of _yes I'm back of course I'm back I can't stand to be away from you_ , Finn's smile nearly split his face in half and he tucked the pilot in a big hug. Blissfully Drunk Poe had no problem returning said hug, until- “It worked! I told you it would work! I'm so happy for you, Poe. I'm so happy for the both of you.”

Oh.

Oh, right.

Poe's heart slowly sank down to his toes, a wave of sadness, confusion, and sobriety falling over him all at once. “Yeah?”

“Course,” Finn said, leaning back enough to look at him and bless him with that big smile of his. “I'm happy that you're happy... You have to tell me how it went, though! Were they surprised?”

Poe was probably the most surprised out of everyone, actually. He laughed awkwardly, scratching at the back of his neck. “Actually, uh-” But- But Finn was so happy for him. Fuck. _Fuck._ “Actually, buddy, I think I'm just gonna go to bed, sleep off this buzz.”

Finn laughed again, quieter this time because he was _such a good person_. “Yeah, okay. I'll hear the details later, surely. I was just about to turn in, so I'll get the lights, okay?”

“Yeah, okay,” Poe sighed, kicking off his shoes and peeling off his jacket. He had no energy to actually get in decent bed clothes or to even strip that much more, especially after his recent revelation. “Thanks, man.”

The lights dimmed down right before Finn lightly knocked his shoulder against Poe's, happy as could be. “Night, Poe.”

“Night.” The pilot fell into bed and curled up, facing the wall, so sure he'd be up all night wallowing in misery... Poe was asleep before Finn was even able to turn around and give him a forlorn look.

* * *

Finn had ducked out of their quarters early, allowing Poe to sleep through the hangover as long as possible, and immediately found himself handing tools to Rey aboard the _Millennium Falcon_. Despite how hard he was trying to be a good friend, his mind and soul just... wasn't in it for this sort of situation. “I don't know what's wrong with me,” Finn pouted, handing Rey some sort of wrench thingy when her hand stretched out from beneath the cockpit's control panels. “He was so happy when he came back last night. And I _am_ happy for him, I really am. He deserves all the happiness in the galaxy. But there's so much of me that's just... _not_ happy and that's not cool. It's not right. It's not fair to him.”

“Finn,” Rey sighed, exasperated, and poked her head out of the cubbyhole she'd burrowed herself into, “you're allowed to feel things. You're allowed to feel jealous and agitated and upset and sad-”

“Okay, I'm gonna stop you right there,” he said, holding up a hand. “I know you're being sarcastic, but I really _shouldn't_ be allowed. I mean, he's my _friend_. I- I _care_ about him. I care about him _a lot_.” Rey's eyebrows stayed on the top of her forehead, but he ignored her unimpressed stare. “Right now he's safe and happy and loved, and why should I even _internalize_ hating on that? It's all I could ever want for him.”

“Finn,” she sighed again in the same tone, “I'm serious. It's _okay_ to feel things. It's okay. It's how you feel. I'm glad you're happy for him, but you can't ignore your own sadness in all of this. Don't argue with me. You can't. Just _allow_ yourself to feel it, okay?”

“Okay,” he grumbled, not entirely meaning it. She had a point. Repressing and ignoring it wasn't fair to himself. (He still had problems with figuring out what he did and did not deserve, but he was getting better at it.) Perhaps acting out wasn't fair to Poe, but so long as the pilot didn't know then it would be okay. His negative feelings on the matter wouldn't stop him from being supportive. So Finn took a deep breath and slowly let it out. “Yeah, okay. I can do that.”

“Good,” Rey nodded ducking back into the console.

He leaned his head back, staring up at D'Qar's bright blue sky through the transparisteel for a long moment. “I almost thought I had a shot, though. Just for just a moment.”

After a beat, a hand touched his shoulder. He didn't look to her, but Rey still spoke with a voice full of emotion. “He cares for you, Finn. He cares _a lot_.”

He smiled, something tired and painful, and put his hand on hers. “I know.”

* * *

“Jess!” Poe's eyes were bloodshot to hell and he knew it. The halls were still kind of spinning, his nausea had yet to dissipate, and his entire world was crashing down before his eyes. This is why he has that _never get drunk with Iolo_ rule! Thus was the reason why he was running down the halls in the same clothes he'd gone to bed in, bare feet slapping on the tiled floor. “Jess, have you seen Finn?”

She turned around and gave him a wide eyed look. “No, I- Wait, oh Maker, is this about your fake Valentine?”

“Yeah, it-” His head whipped around to face her, the world continuing on without him. Maybe he'd feel better if he'd thrown up before he left his quarters. “How do you know about that?”

“Snap told me,” she shrugged. Great. Snap knew, too. Great. Fucking great. “But, I mean, you haven't even _told_ Finn yet?”

“I'm working on it, okay!” He worriedly ran a hand through his hair, looking up and down the hall like Finn would magically appear. “He assumed I went on a date yesterday and thought it went well, and I- I didn't tell him otherwise. I didn't tell him anything! I just agreed and went to bed! Fucking Maker of all that is Holy, I'm a fucking moron!”

“He still thinks- Wait, boss, slow down-”

“But he doesn't even _care!_ He just said he was happy for me! _Happy for me!_ Happy for _me!_ How in the hell-? I thought he-! Gods, I'm so stupid!”

“ _Poe!_ ” Her voice cut through his rant and finally made him pause. “Okay, look, it's all right. Just tell him. I'll help you find-”

“I'm gonna throw up.”

“What?”

“I'm gonna-” He turned and sprinted back to his room.

Less than two minutes later, after he successfully made it to the toilet in time – an incredible feat that he would be privately proud of any other day – he felt Jess' hands holding back what longer pieces of hair he had that was falling in his face.

She stayed silent until the evidence of his shame was flushed away and a wet cloth was placed against his neck. “How you feeling?”

“Unworthy of Finn's love,” he mumbled, “but other than that, I feel like shit.”

“Figured as much,” she sighed. “Look, just take some time to fix yourself up then go tell him what really happened. He'll understand since you were drunk and all.”

He grimaced, not wanting to ever actually allow Finn to see his stupid self again. And he certainly didn't want to face the horror of that impending conversation.

_Oh, you were writing that song for me? Haha, wow! That's really sweet, I guess? I'm sorry, Poe. That sounds hilarious. Could you imagine? The two of us? I definitely couldn't! Haha! But, no, really, what were you writing that song for?_

Yeah, no, he- No. “I don't know how to say it. I mean, the date thing was definitely fake.”

“Well, duh,” Jess nodded. “Look, Finn deserves the truth, right? So just go tell him. No matter how it ends up, that kid really cares about you.”

“I know,” Poe sighed, leaning his head back against the wall tiles.

* * *

Jess was right, though. Finn deserved the truth. He deserved so much, and Poe wasn't about to be the guy that refused to give him everything he possibly could. And it wasn't that big of a deal. It was just a conversation, and everything would be normal at the end of it. Finn wasn't the type of person to ditch him just because feelings were floating around. He was a much better man than that.

Poe could suck up his pain long enough to be a halfway decent person.

But it was Finn that had actually found _him_ , though, instead of the other way around. Poe had looked just about everywhere he could think of and had decided to take a break to watch the Pathfinders run drills on the obstacle course. The thought of going to check the hangar again came to mind when Finn suddenly appeared by his side. “Buddy!” he squealed, shocked and delighted and terrified. “Man, I've been looking for you all morning?”

“What? Really?” Finn laughed, sitting down beside Poe on the hillside, carefully balancing the bundle of napkins that seemed to clearly house food considering the smell of said bundle. “I was helping Rey with the _Falcon_. Thought you'd be doing _other_ things this morning, not the least of which was sleeping.”

The _Falcon_! He didn't check the _Millennium Falcon_. To be fair, it still very much intimidated him. “Thanks for letting me sleep in.”

“Of course. You don't get many days off as it is,” the other explained, unwrapping what looked to be a hastily made sandwich cut from end to end and a few cookies from the mess. “Wanna half it? Have you eaten yet?”

Lie to him _and_ take his food? Ha! “I'm fine.”

“Have you eaten yet?” Finn asked again, raising an eyebrow this time.

Poe glanced away, frowning. “No, not yet.”

Half of Finn's sandwich was placed on his lap, and Poe felt like he could crawl in a hole. Why was he so _kind?_ Poe frowned deeply, picking it up and looking at it, nodding as Finn reminded him to eat it slowly. It was like all of his heartbreak and despair, all of his loneliness and dramatic melancholy, every single daydream he had dared to let himself have about a life after the war once Finn became a fixture in his life had burned to ash and somehow molded itself into half of a sandwich in his hands.

“Why were you looking for me?” Finn asked, breaking the silence as he licked whatever sauce was in this food off of his thumb.

Poe was jolted back to the present, pushing away all of the wailing going on in his mind. “Huh? What?”

“You said that you were looking for me all morning. What did you need?”

Oh. Oh, right. That. “I was just-” Gods above, why was this so much harder than getting shot at? It wasn't like Finn was cruel and planned to drag his heart through the dirt. “I wanted to talk to you about yesterday.”

“Yeah?” Finn smiled back at him, and Poe suddenly wanted to stuff the sandwich in his mouth, lay prone against the grass, and roll down into the Pathfinders line of fire. “I pretty much guessed that it went well. You never told me if I knew them or not, though.”

“Well, you- you _don't_ , because they're, uh-”

“It's okay,” Finn interrupted, already swallowing a bite of his sandwich. “You don't have to tell me who. I'm just happy that you're happy, Poe.”

The pilot gulped, attempting like hell to harden his resolve. He could do it. He could do it now. “Yeah,” he breathed, shifting in place. “But, Finn, it's-” He paused, chewing his bottom lip roughly and staring at the horizon.

“Hey, you okay?” No. No, he was not okay. “What's wrong? Did something else happen?”

“No!” Poe jumped, scaring himself with how quick his answer flew out. “No. No, buddy. It's just that- I mean, about the song and the date and all of the-” He waved his hand around and glanced to Finn, checking to see if his point was going across. The other man just chewed his food and stared back, waiting. “Anyway, about all that, it didn't really- I mean the song was never even _finished_ , first of all. I got too scared and chickened out, and it wasn't really... what you thought.”

Finn gave him a happy smile. “But it still worked out in the end.” Poe felt his entire face burn, wanting to hide himself in the sandwich. Or the aforementioned hole. Or the aforementioned firing squad. “You probably won't think this is a compliment, but you're kinda adorable when you're nervous,” Finn chuckled. “I guess they thought the same.”

_There is no one! They don't exist! Nothing happened! I got drunk and I'm miserable and I love you and I'm a worthless piece of shit!_

“Yeah,” Poe whined, closing his eyes to try and block out the world. Then he stood up. “Actually, I think I'm gonna go ahead and get out of your hair. I'll see you later or something-”

“Oh, here!” Finn took one of his cookies and reached up until he could place it on top of Poe's sandwich. The he grinned and winked. “Go share it with someone.”

Oh, he'd share it with someone, all right. Karé would demand all of it as he cried on her bunk, soaking up his tears with a half eaten sandwich. “Thanks, buddy,” Poe _very nearly_ sobbed. “I'm just- I'll see ya later.” He turned and politely power walked away as fast as he could.

* * *

Everything seemed like a mix between terrific and horrible for the next few days. Terrific, because Poe was always clearly flustered, his mind never in the present moment. He always seemed to be thinking about his significant other. And he saw them every night, from what Finn could tell, since Poe always came back so late. It was a curious thing that he was coming back at all, though.

The horrible thing was... Finn having to live through it. Whenever he saw Poe and they spoke about the other's budding relationship, he'd put on his best smile in proper Stormtrooper efficiency and try as hard as he could not to wince. Some days were better than others. At this point, he just told himself it was time to get over his own rejected feelings. Sure, like Rey said, it was fine to let himself feel them, but he was beginning to get disappointed in himself. He _did_ allow himself to feel it. It's time to move on now.

But his heart seemed to have a hard time catching up on the memo.

The only thing that seemed to make him stop dwelling on it was the fact that something was increasingly wrong with Poe. Finn expected them to stop having meals together and start seeing less of each other, so all of that was fine. (Really, it was fine, totally.) What he didn't expect was the interactions he got on the rare chance he did get to see his friend. Poe's shoulders were always drooped, his head always bowed, a frown and sad eyes always decorating his otherwise beautiful face.

At first, Finn assumed that maybe Poe just didn't like being away from his lover, but that was immediately proven false. Attachment like that on such a level was unhealthy and clearly not the case here. Perhaps they were on a mission, then? But no one that had been on base during Valentine's Day had been shipped out yet. Finn checked. And this didn't happen _before_ Valentine's, so...

He didn't want to believe it, but it seemed as if Poe's lover was a total jerk. Perhaps they weren't the cause of this situation – Finn wasn't about to go accusing someone he'd never seen before and one of his friends cared for so deeply – but they clearly weren't helping his emotional state. Did they even notice? Were they making it worse, somehow? Were they inadvertently causing it? Was this person not everything Poe thought they were?

It made him antsy. It made him upset. It made him _angry_.

Poe was keeping the relationship a somewhat guarded secret, so Finn didn't know who he was seeing. And that was fine, it was understandable, he didn't need to know if Poe didn't want him to... But he was _not_ about to let this continue to fly, not when his friends were concerned.

“Jess, hold up.” He stopped the other pilot just as she was leaving Command and waited until they were more or less alone, allowing her to give him a curious look the whole time. When the last of the people in the meeting passed by, he counted backwards from five in an attempt to keep his composure steady. “Do you know who Poe's dating?”

“Dating?” Her eyes went wide and, shit, Poe probably hadn't told his pilots! Finn was just about to make up something along the lines that he must have been mistaken, when she continued. “You mean everything that happened back on Valentine's Day?”

Finn blinked and just went with it. “Uh, yeah.”

She glanced to the wall, his chest, and back to his eyes, standing straight. “I guess you could say I know them, sure.”

Yes! “Can you tell me who it is?” he asked, then thought better of it at the last second. “I mean, unless Poe's trying to keep it secret. He hasn't told me who it was, and I haven't pressed. I mean, I understand that he's not telling the world or anything. It's fine. I just- I need to talk to them. I need to-”

“Why?” she interrupted, stopping his babbling short. “What's going on?”

“He's- He's-” Finn took a breath and tried again. “He's acting all _miserable_. Poe looks upset all the time. Whoever he's dating is either causing it or not helping, and I know it's none of my business and I'll probably get a broken nose, but I have to tell them to _knock it off!_ He deserves better than this shit! He was smiling everyday before this happened! I don't know what the hell went wrong, but they better fix it or so help me, I'll-!”

“Whoa there, Finn! Slow down,” Jess stopped him, grabbing onto one of his arms.

Well, there went all that First Order composure he'd been so proud of lately. Perhaps it was made to withstand only so much. “I'm sorry, Jess. I'm sorry. He just seems so-” Then something suddenly clicked together in Finn's mind as he realized just how Jess was reacting to all of this. He jerked up straight. “Are you the one dating him!?”

“No!” She yelled, then cursed lowly and looked around, making sure they weren't attracting a crowd. “No. No way. I am definitely not with Poe.”

He believed her, of course he believed her, and let out a rather large sigh coming from somewhere deep in his soul. Suddenly, the anger was gone, and he just felt tired and sad. “I'm sorry again, Jess. I just... want Poe to be happy. And he's _not_ right now when he should be. He should be smiling all the time, laughing and joking and glad that everything's worked out. He should be a useless mess with little hearts in his eyes like on your holos. He's supposed to be dopey and goofy and in love and- And I just want him to be happy. I want to fix it. I don't know how to fix it.”

“Oh, Gods,” the pilot sighed and moved her hand to his shoulder. “Look, Finn. I'll send along your message, okay? I promise. I don't want to see the boss like that either.”

“You will?” he asked with hope running through him for the first time in days. Jess nodded, and he hugged her in delight. “Thank you so much. I'm sorry. I just want it to work out for them.”

“It's all right, Big Deal,” she soothed, patting him on the back, mindfully away from his scar. “I'll make sure the message gets through loud and clear.”

* * *

“You're still _lying to him!?_ ”

Poe dropped his wrench, dropped his flashlight, twisted his knee, and bashed his temple against the X-Wing's hull. “ _Fuck_ , Pava!” He slowly lifted his head from inside of his bird's engine, where he had been working for the last few hours in order to pass the time doing literally anything that didn't include Finn, and held a hand against the side of his head and looked around from the perch on top of his X-Wing. “What the hell are you-!?”

He paused, realizing that Jess was awkwardly and angrily scrambling up to him, clawing at the s-foils until she could get a leg up, eyes lit like fire. “You told me you were going to tell Finn the truth! You told me you were gonna suck it up and deal with it! So, how about you try to tell me _now_ what the fuck you think you're doing!?”

… Shit, how did she find out?

“It's not like that!” he immediately defended himself, still angry over getting hurt just then. “He just keeps assuming shit, and every time I try to tell him, he just fucking congratulates me or something! It's not exactly as easy as it fucking looks, Pava!”

“Hey, Finn,” she mocked. “My lover isn't real, and I was writing that song for you. But I chickened out and didn't tell you, because _I'm a fucking dipshit!_ ”

“ _Look!”_ He threw his grease rag down to the ground below, but couldn't really come up with something suitable to fire back.

Poe was opening his mouth, about to say literally any stupid thing that came to mind, probably something like pulling rank or some deal, when Karé spoke from a few ships down. “Holy shit, Finn still doesn't know?”

He twisted around to face her and only just then realized how eerily quiet the whole place had become... Poe glanced around at everyone staring at them, and pointed at Iolo sitting on an engine shell. “It's Iolo's fault! He got me drunk!”

The accused quickly stood up. “I'm just gonna go and-” He sprinted out of the hangar.

It was around then that Snap's bellowing laughter filled the silence, but he seemed to be the only one enjoying this situation. Karé was the one that shot back, “How have you gone this long and not explained it to him?”

“It's more complicated than that!” Poe defended, going red in the face from a variety of emotions. Well, he was whining. It was definitely whining. He really hated himself. “You don't understand. He's always just so-”

“Dameron, _shut up!_ ” Jess snapped, drawing all eyes to her again. “We like you, but we've all started to really like Finn, too. All this fucking around you're doing is _hurting_ him. He's worried about you!” He opened his mouth to protest, because Finn was definitely not hurting and worried, but Jess talked over him. “Unless the next words out of your mouth is a Yes, Ma'am as you scurry away to fix this cluster fuck you've created, I do _not_ want to hear it!”

He outranked her. He was older than her. He'd been flying a lot longer than her. He'd been in this military longer than her...

Poe paused, then started scrambling off of the X-Wing, muttering a “Yes, Ma'am” as he exited the hangar.

* * *

“Do you think I've overstepped?” Finn asked BB-8 while he sat on his bunk, trying to get out of his mood. “I'm just really worried, and Rey tells me to not ignore my feelings. I want to help him, but I don't want to get in the way and make it worse.”

BB responded with, <He's lying to you, moron.> Unfortunately, Finn didn't understand the beeps and whirs, still having not completely caught on to Binary yet.

Finn sighed. “I know. I should have handled it myself instead of getting Jess involved.”

<He's in love with you,> BB-8 continued. <He loves you, and you love him. He's just a right fucking idiot about it.>

“I'm sure she came through, though,” Finn defended. “She's a great person and one of Poe's oldest friends. I know she wants to help him, too.”

<When are you both going to get your heads out of each other's asses and have ball slapping sex?>

He let out a held breath, squaring his shoulders this time. “You're right. I'm worrying over nothing.”

<That wasn't a rhetorical question. Like, it used to be for the bet going around, but now everyone's sanity is on the line. Inquiring minds, Finn.>

The door opened, and Poe entered the room, grease up to his elbows and a white stained tank top hugging his torso. BB-8 made the sound that Finn equated to hysterical laughter as it rolled out of the room, letting the door close back behind him.

Right. He cleared his throat. “Hey. You were working on the X-Wing?”

“Yeah,” Poe said, shifting nervously and letting a hand scratch at a spot on the back of his neck. Lords above, Poe Dameron was the most handsome man alive, but Finn purposely and easily kept his eyes up as the other man continued. “Look, I wan- I need to talk to you.”

“You do?” Oh, shit. Oh, fuck. He'd overdone it, and now he was losing his friend. He should have known better. He was still learning social cues. He should have stayed out of it.

“It's about-” Poe waved his hand, the gesture he always made when referring to his relationship. “Well, you know.”

Finn's face fell. “Jess?”

The pilot straightened and blinked at him. “Yeah, actually.”

 _Ahhhh!_ He stood up quickly, scared to death. “Poe, it's not her fault! I talked to her. I was- I was worried. I'm so sorry. I should have just talked to you instead. I was being stupid. I wasn't thinking. But she didn't tell me who it was. I promise, I won't do something like that again. I'm so sorry.”

“Finn, wait. I-” Poe blinked at him, looking honestly confused for a moment. “Stop apologizing, buddy. You didn't do anything wrong.”

He didn't? Finn physically deflated. “I didn't hurt your relationship?”

“What? No.” The ex-trooper sat back down on the bed, absolutely relieved, but Poe was still trying to babble around a statement. “No, that's not- What I meant was- Finn, we need to talk.”

Oh. Oh, okay, well. Well, maybe he was still in trouble for this. “Poe, I am so sorry-”

“No, stop.” The pilot shook his head, waved his arm, and Finn was crushed. Maybe he hadn't hurt the relationship, which was great, but he'd hurt the two of them somehow. He was about to lose everything. “Stop apologizing. Stop talking. Just listen to me, all right? I have to say something and- Why are you looking at me like that?”

Not totally sure if he should talk or not – he was told not to, after all – Finn quickly and quietly answered with, “I swear to you, I'll never do something like that again.”

“No!” Poe's cry was something near anguished, and he jumped onto the bed next to Finn, who was trying hard to just take this all in stride. “No, Finn. Dammit. Gods, you didn't do anything. You've never done anything wrong. It's me. I'm the fuck up. I'm the idiot. I screwed everything up.” Finn opted to stay quiet this time, not knowing what else to say to defend himself, so Poe continued after a brief pause where he let out a loud sigh. “Okay, look... I- I lied, I think. I don't even know. Let's just say I lied, because I might as well have. I lied about everything. I didn't go on a date on Valentine's Day. I haven't been going steady with anyone. I didn't even finish writing the damn song. Nothing happened. I- _Fuck._ I- I was- Fuck.” Poe cradled his head in his hands. “I was writing the song for you, and I got too scared to do anything.”

Finn stared at him, his mind deftly trying to put all of the pieces together and coming up blank. How did- Where- Poe didn't go on a date? He wasn't in a relationship? He was trying to ask Finn out? What? What?

What?

“I'm sorry,” Poe continued, quieter, sincere. “I'm really sorry. I fucked it all up...”

… What?

“I need to think for a minute,” Finn found himself saying, then standing, then leaving.

* * *

It had been _hours_ since he last saw Finn, and it wasn't like he was going to actively go out and search for him. He couldn't do that. Finn said he needed time to think which was _more than_ understandable. After all, Poe couldn't exactly be trusted right now, and he was clearly one of Finn's closest friends.

Fuck, how could he do this to him? What kind of person creates drama like that?

Poe resigned himself to stay in their quarters. He couldn't leave in case he ran into Finn before the other man was ready to see him. So... he just wasn't going to leave unless alarms and sirens started going off. But pacing back and forth in their small quarters wasn't exactly cutting it either. All of his materials and paperwork was left in his office, so- The only thing Poe had to work with was the half finished song. He told himself that maybe if he finished it and it was good enough and Finn liked it, then perhaps they could move on from this and forget the whole terrible thing.

So, he set back to work on his earlier task. It was still a bit painful to look at, but he was determined to finish it and get his mind wrapped up in the music, forgetting everything else even for just a moment.

He played a few chords, sheets spread out around him on the bed, and adjusted as necessary where he felt there needed to be adjustments, scribbling down his notes. The lyrics were lifted from the Yavinese song that Finn liked so much, presented in Basic this time, but there was never any tune that went along with it as far as he knew. Poe played a few more chords, humming the lyrics to himself, and stopped to scribble more down.

After adjusting the first few lines, he started to sing the chorus softly, trying to get it just right.

_Be my friend_  
Hold me, wrap me up  
Unfold me  
_I am small and needy_  
_Warm me up  
_ _And breathe me_

“Is that the song?”

Poe must have jumped a full kilometer into the air at the sound of Finn's voice, but he turned and fretted his fingers through the guitar's strings. “It's not finished yet.”

Finn stood in the doorway and smiled a little bit, shuffling his feet and glancing down to the floor. “I like it so far.” Poe stayed silent with nothing else to say and just watched as Finn walked into the room, the door closing between them and the hallway. He sat down on the bed, looking more composed than Poe ever felt, and held a package wrapped in brown paper on his lap. Finn sighed and started talking. “I'm really sorry for assuming the wrong things.”

Of course, he was _still_ apologizing. Poe twisted around to face him, guitar still in his lap. “Buddy, you did nothing wrong... Look, it's all right. I'm sorry for-... for all of it. I'm sorry for dragging it on and not fessing up. I'm stupid and I'm sorry.”

“You're not stupid,” Finn argued, but gave out another sigh, like he was trying to just get through this. “Listen, I-” He shifted and hunkered down a little more. “I was happy for you, you know. I wanted you to be happy. But at the same time, I was... not so happy for you... Because- Gods, I don't know. I was glad that you had found someone, but I was still struggling with it and trying to hide it from you. It hurt, and I felt guilty for it hurting, but I really _was_ happy for you, it's just-” He took another deep breath and let it out slowly. “I was happy that you were happy, but... _I_ wanted to be the one to make you happy.”

He looked over at Poe, who was pretty sure his jaw was hanging open since his mind couldn't connect to the rest of him at the moment. Finn sucked in his bottom lip and looked down and away. “I got you this,” he said, placing the package on top of the guitar. “It was for Valentine's, but the Pathfinders just got back this afternoon.” He looked back up to meet Poe's eyes, and Poe didn't look away from him once.

Eventually, the pilot found the ability to speak, albeit in a whisper. “You mean I had a chance?”

Finn stared at him for a moment before giving back a tentative smile, something shy and unsure. “I'm saying that you still do.”

Poe's eyes widened at the confession, and he gulped. His mind was racing, trying to figure out what to do and where to go, but he found himself already leaning in a bit. He paused when he realized it, then noticed that Finn stopped leaning in, too. And, well, if they were both agreeing here...

Poe slowly leaned forward over the guitar and gift, eventually meeting Finn's soft lips, ghosting over them gently. His head tilted and mouth opened and the kiss deepened enough for their lips to fully come together... That is, until Poe's mind came back and he gently pulled away, trying to figure this out.

Did he and Finn just-? Were they officially-? “Hi.”

“Hi,” Finn smiled, glancing down to Poe's lips. “This is happening, right?”

“I think so,” Poe answered, completely distracted by how Finn's lips moved as he talked.

“Okay,” the other said, licking said full lips and leaning back in. “Good.”

The kiss was deeper this time, a little more passion, a little more tongue, and one of them grunted, but Poe wasn't sure who. He smiled and pulled away again, moving the present and guitar to the side. “What did you get me?”

“A new jacket,” Finn said, smiling back.

Poe laughed and kissed those happy lips, slowly shifting closer on the bed. Their smiles and giggles made it hard to really kiss, but Poe was gladly making do with the situation.

Though, this time, Finn pulled away, a hand to Poe's shoulder and a little frown threatening to ruin the whole thing. “Are we okay?” he murmured but no less serious.

Poe smiled, brought his hands up to cover either side of Finn's jaw, and kissed him until he started smiling and laughing again.

**Author's Note:**

> Well, that took a while to write. This idea hit me a few days ago and begged me to write it, so I guess my muse is back. Also, this idea was MUCH longer, but I didn't feel like dishing out a 30k fake boyfriend fic.
> 
> The song is Breathe Me by Sia. I would be lying to you if I ever said that I haven't imagined Oscar Isaac passionately singing that song more times than I can count. Seriously, though? He would kill it, omg. Panties and boxers alike would fly everywhere. Finn is defenseless.
> 
> So, anyway, I finished on the deadline! Again! Happy Valentine's Day! (No, you don't have to be in a relationship to enjoy it. Thank you, Poe.)
> 
> update: hahaha omg I finished this fic at like 10pm okay and ao3 refused to post it for the LONGEST time and I was like so wanting this to go up ON Valentine's Day and it literally went up at 11:57pm. i dont know how to feel right now.


End file.
